For some reason, we can have all the warning signs. You may even experience some symptoms of anxiety, like a sour stomach or goose bumps on your arms. And yet you move ahead in the wrong direction knowing it is no good for you. This can be related to a job, a relationship, buying the right car, placing your child in the right school, the list can go on forever, the point is I have learned to not settle.
It can be difficult to decide if you are settling or making the appropriate choice. But I promise that every time something felt wrong about the choice I was about to make, I had those awful feelings and tons of doubt. My mind was unease about the entire situation. That is when I knew I could not go through with what my heart wanted because my mind was being more conscious of what I was getting myself in to.
Now, I am not perfect and neither have I been the best decision maker all my life. This is a daily process, as we humans make choices every second of our day. But some choices require more thought as in buying a car versus do I want expresso in my chai latte or not. Some decisions require more thought than others as you see.
I have made poor choices. Prior to making those choices I did feel a bit jumpy about them, but because I think I know everything that is best for me, I went forward in the wrong direction knowing it was not the best choice. The result of such actions has not left me dead, heart broken- OF COURSE, but you move on, there is life after a breakup. The point that you broke up means God was looking out for you saying there is someone far greater I have for you in your future; but other results have been I am left a little broke because the business plan failed, does this mean you never try at the business again? No indeed, you have a better game plan. This may have placed me at a horrible job, yeah I may have cried many drives home and vented to my friends about how much I can’t stand working there, BUT…life goes on, I found something new to venture off into.
The point is we are designed to make choices, all the time. Sometimes, we have warnings that tell us to not go into that direction, but we ignore those red flags, the yield signs- begging us to slow down, the yellow flashing light warning us to please stop ahead. We just drive past those signs and end running off the rail, and because death cannot claim you yet, life has given you plenty more second chances. Each new second is a second chance to get it right. If you can’t get it right with one person, you’ll have tons of new opportunities to get it right with the right person, that deserves your time. If you invest in the wrong business, because you felt it was now or never, or even worse pressured into one, it’s ok don’t settle as a failure, go to the drawing board and try again.
So recently like a week ago, I thought I was moving into a new direction for 2018. I had visited this place numerous times. Then, I brought my family there. They were in love too. Everything was looking good. Finances were straight. Papers were ready to be signed. I was so hyped at the beginning of the week, knowing that by Saturday my little family will be making big moves. Well…Friday evening my gut feeling changed. I became worrisome in the decision I was about to make, and honestly, deep down I always was uncomfortable about it, because I did not like the distance and other factors, but I was willing to SETTLE!!! Friday night all the papers were lined up, and as much as I wanted it, I called it off. I just did not feel good about it anymore. And I have made too many bad choices where I was settling, and this time I was not going to do that to myself. I walked away from what was my “dream house”, but of course, there is a better one than I can even fathom at this time, somewhere in my future. The fact that I wasn’t even upset about not getting the house gives me peace in knowing I made the right decision.
Just think of the possible consequences of signing the contract. I would’ve lost my money I put down had I told the contractors I change my mind, days later. I would’ve hated the distance from work. It just would have been a big mess. It looked good, but it wasn’t best for me. So glad I didn’t settle.
When you don’t settle it may not feel good to walk away at that time, but a few minutes later or hours or days you will have peace about it. And before you know it, you’ll be walking into something better than you even imagined. I may not have my “dream house” at this time, but it is coming.
We deserve far too much to be settlers. We deserve the best. We deserve to be happy. We deserve to live a life that we are proud of. And that begins when we stop settling. Stop thinking you are not good enough, pretty enough, smart enough, educated enough, gifted enough. If you need more education, finish school. If you need more training, get the training. You owe it to yourself, to give yourself the best.
I am not just telling you this, I am talking to myself. We are entering a new year. Forget all the other new year resolutions, if you live to give yourself your best life, then all the other resolutions will fall into place.
Jewels, lets make smart choices and stop settling. We DESERVE THE BEST!